Do you have any idea of the number of times you have had sex in your life until now? Hundreds? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? It is difficult to calculate (or, if you haven’t had much luck so far: a handful? Four or five times? Only once, but very enjoyable? Are you more into having sex by yourself?).

Well, even though the task is hard, since it is impossible to count the number of times one has had sex, what we are going to do here this week is to classify these sexual encounters according to their type. Here are a few:

Goodbye sex

Last dance. You just broke up with your partner. Ohhhh! There’s no possible solution. It’s over. That’s it. Tears. Such a disappointment. Now how can I tell my family and friends? Although that’s the least important thing. Is there really no way to fix it? No, there is not.
We don’t love each other anymore. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth. But hey, suddenly, when everything is going bad, the libido increases (putting it politely). The situation heats up. After all, I have nothing to lose. And it is a good idea to say goodbye properly. So, before you even realise it, the penultimate stroke has led to the penultimate kiss, the penultimate kiss to the penultimate lick, and the penultimate lick to the penultimate screw. Certainly, there is no better way to say goodbye than to have a shag. After all, your genitals also need to say goodbye. Uhhhh! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! Good bye, baby.

Shy sex

Certain kinds of people have had this kind of sex (not me, I know it from a friend). It is, above all, experienced the first time you have sex. The first time you sleep with someone! Do you remember that moment? What tension! Do you have to show your private parts to someone else, so suddenly? How embarrassing! Goodness me, you’ve waited all your life for the first screw and now you’re worried about being seen as naked as the day you were born.
Anyway, the sooner the problem is solved, the better. It is not the same to go through this embarrassment in adolescence, youth, or in adulthood. Life is about starting – truer words were never spoken. In this blog, we promote the enjoyment of sex without mental barriers, and people using their body as they want to, because it’s theirs. But, on the other hand, we also suggest that exposing it should be no reason for embarrassment.

Blackmail sex

Come on, let’s admit it. Who has never made an effort to have sex to get something else in return? And who has never done what their partner really likes so that later they make breakfast, take them to their favourite restaurant for dinner, or just to receive lots of affection from the person they love, like a lot of cuddles? Of course, the ideal thing is for your partner to give you these treats unselfishly without the need to receive something in return, but… a little help in bed is always a good thing. In short: if you want your partner to eat from your hand, you know better than anyone else how to do it, or rather, how to do it to them.

The wonder screws

This curious type of sex usually occurs in times of abstinence. Think about one of those days when boredom is weighing you down on the sofa really badly. You are taking a look at your Whatsapp contacts, and you are scrolling down, scrolling down… and in the end, look at him, there he is, you are with you ex. The one you had the goodbye sex with. The one of the last dance, do you remember? You’ve almost forgotten it. It doesn’t matter: you give it a go and write. Because, with a bit of luck, you will get laid tonight. You know. It is just a screw. And it won’t be, by any means, a memorable one. It will not be historical (or the sooner it is history, the better). But hey, it is still better than nothing. At least it’s pleasant. A lot. A screw in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Toot it and boot it

In this space, we have talked on many occasions about those tremendous screws with a stranger, since it is the paradigm of casual sex. It works like this: you are introduced to or casually meet somebody and you like being close to this person so much that your body asks to be even closer. It’s just that: your body asks you to go further. And why should you deny yourself a treat? You only live once, but in this life you don’t have sex just once (and, if you ask me, not even with just one person). So, how good those times of wild sex are to regain self-esteem at certain times of our life! (But hey, as we always say, it’s better to choose the right moment, to avoid lowering the self-esteem of your steady partner, and therefore, yours).

Come on, now it is your turn. We’re sure to have forgotten many types of sex. What kind of sex would you add to this list?