Riiiiiiiing. The alarm sounds. Oh, no! With a titanic effort and in a matter of minutes (or half an hour depending on the case) you get out of bed. You swear. Or maybe not even that. It depends on what mood you are in. Maybe you mutter a muffled “good morning”, but only to keep up the minimum standards of education in your relationship. What else can you do? It’s not your partner’s fault that you find it so hard to get up early to go to work. Shortly afterwards, with the typical disorientation of the first few minutes of the day (what a whack your mum would have given you), you get into the shower for a good stream of hot water to wash your bad mood down the drain. And yet, alas, you are not yet fully revived. Coffee, breakfast… Come on, let’s get it together.
Then you rush to the office, where (unfortunately) you spend most of the day. Imagine that, with luck, you end the day on time and no last minute urgency keeps you in the office; that’s when you have to go to the gym, painting classes, English, Chinese, Esperanto, guitar, ukulele, cello, yoga, Pilates, restoration of rustic furniture, laughter therapy, or whatever God has made you think you have to do after work. And you’re bound to have something because today everyone has something. Anything but sex. Because we spend most of the day working, entertaining ourselves, learning things, taking care of friends and family, playing the cello or whatever, but… what about sex? We get home so tired that sex is out of the question. When can we make love? Do we have to make an appointment with our partner or what? Example conversation:
- Are you free next Thursday, March 16th, sweetheart?
- I’m free for half an hour at 19:17.
- Oh dear! Impossible, I’m afraid. That’s when I have my rustic furniture restoration class.
- God almighty!
Find the time for heaven’s sake. You know that sex has more positive effects for your body than soy and avocado together. Don’t hold yourself back. Go crazy generating endorphins by making love; it’ll do you the world of good. All that going to the gym… and in fact to get in shape what you have to do is get on top of your partner.
The only thing that is necessary is that… just 20 measly minutes a day. Do you really not have them? Maybe you should consider leaving the ukulele classes, or the rustic furniture restoration, or the damned laughter therapy. Come on now, we’re not kids anymore. Making love should be like going to the toilet: an unavoidable part of your daily activity. The thing is that they don’t sell yogurts for it, so you have make the effort yourself.
As we say, 20 minutes is enough (although, while you’re at it, try to hold out a bit longer). In case you are not yet fully convinced (are you extraterrestrial or what?), we list here some other advantages of sex that will not go unnoticed by your body and soul:
- You will feel better in general. You will sing abonibi aboebe, abanibi all around the house, which means I love you darling and things like that.
- Your mood will improve. But don’t imitate Tommy Cooper any more, please; it’s boring.
- You’ll feel more optimistic. You’ll see how you say yes to everything.
- You will go to the loo more regularly, because you will be happier and your intestinal flora and fauna will work to their fullest. And no need for the yogurts we mentioned earlier.
- Your defences will improve. Any virus that has the guts to get into your body will come out with a hot bottom.
- You will strengthen your relationship. You and your partner will be indestructible. Or, at least, you won’t argue so much; which is better than nothing.
- You will live life more intensely. Even though your team’s match is a friendly, you’ll shout “champions, champions, oé, oé, oéeeeee!”.
- You’ll be in better shape and, what’s more, you’ll stop wasting money at the gym.
- Your face will look better. More or less as usual – unfortunately miracles do not exist – but with more shine and smiling from ear to ear.
- You will reduce stress, as if you lived in Hawaii. At your own pace. Take it easy.
- And remember most importantly: sex is an incredible source of pleasure. Jeepers! We sometimes seem to forget it! (What a whack your mum would give you.)
Well, there you go. Bearing all that in mind there should be no doubt about it: is it really not worth finding 20 minutes to get down to it? And while you’re at it, dear friend, what if you potentiate the pleasure with your Tokkets? Those 20 minutes could be glorious thanks to the extra passion they bring you. Put pleasure in your pocket.
What about you? When do you find time for sex? Reveal your secrets, champion!